Whatever your political affiliation, I really find the love story between Lee Kuan Yew and Kwa Geok Choo to be truly romantic - the life-long kind of love that's so rare these days. He would not have been who he ended up being, if not for her unwavering, caring love and support. And he was never the same after her passing.
Here are excerpts from his eulogy for her, which I've merged with a little bit from an article on how LKY was like in the time after. Full sources cited below.
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"My wife and I have been together since 1947 for more than three quarters of our lives. My grief at her passing cannot be expressed in words. But today (Wednesday), when recounting our lives together, I would like to celebrate her life ...
As a young man with an interrupted education at Raffles College, and no steady job or profession, her parents did not look upon me as a desirable son-in-law. But she had faith in me. We had committed ourselves to each other... We gradually influenced each other's ways and habits as we adjusted to and accommodated each other.
We knew that we could not stay starry-eyed lovers all our lives; that life was an on-going challenge with new problems to resolve and manage.
...
We never argued over the upbringing of our children, nor over financial matters. Our earnings and assets were jointly held. We were each other's confidant. She had simple pleasures. We would walk around the Istana gardens in the evening, and I would hit golf balls to relax. Later, when we had grandchildren, she would take them to feed the fish and the swans in the Istana ponds. Then we would swim.
...
She had an uncanny ability to read the character of a person. She would sometimes warn me to be careful of certain persons; often, she turned out to be right. When we were about to join Malaysia, she told me that we would not succeed because the Umno Malay leaders had such different lifestyles and because their politics were communally-based, on race and religion. I replied that we had to make it work as there was no better choice. But she was right. We were asked to leave Malaysia before two years had passed.
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After her first stroke, she lost her left field of vision. This slowed down her reading. She learned to cope, reading with the help of a ruler. She swam every evening and kept fit. She continued to travel with me, and stayed active despite the stroke. She stayed in touch with her family and old friends. She listened to her collection of CDs, mostly classical, plus some golden oldies. She jocularly divided her life into "before stroke" and "after stroke", like BC and AD.
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Her second stroke on 12 May 2008 was more disabling. I encouraged and cheered her on, helped by a magnificent team of doctors, surgeons, therapists and nurses.
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Her nurses, WSOs and maids all grew fond of her because she was warm and considerate. When she coughed, she would take her small pillow to cover her mouth because she worried for them and did not want to infect them. Her mind remained clear but her voice became weaker. When I kissed her on her cheek, she told me not to come too close to her in case I caught her pneumonia. When given some peaches in hospital, she asked the maid to take one home for my lunch. I was at the centre of her life. On 24 June 2008, a CT scan revealed another bleed again on the right side of her brain. There was not much more that medicine or surgery could do except to keep her comfortable. I brought her home on 3 July 2008. The doctors expected her to last a few weeks. She lived till 2nd October, 2 years and 3 months.
She remained lucid. That gave time for me and my children to come to terms with the inevitable. In the final few months, her faculties declined. She could not speak but her cognition remained. She looked forward to have me talk to her every evening. Her last wish she shared with me was to enjoin our children to have our ashes placed together, as we were in life.
The last two years of her life were the most difficult. She was bedridden after small successive strokes; she could not speak but she was still cognisant. Every night she would wait for me to sit by her to tell her of my day's activities and to read her favourite poems. Then she would sleep. I have precious memories of our 63 years together. Without her, I would be a different man, with a different life. She devoted herself to me and our children. She was always there when I needed her. She has lived a life full of warmth and meaning. I should find solace in her 89 years of a life well lived. But at this moment of the final parting, my heart is heavy with sorrow and grief."
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After her passing... LKY missed his wife deeply. "For a week after his wife died, Mr Lee Kuan Yew fussed over her photographs on the wall of the living room at their Oxley Road home. He placed pictures of their favourite moments together at the foot of his bed and by the treadmill which he used every day. A few days later, he would move them around again. He repositioned his grey plastic chair at the dining table to have the best view of her pictures on the wall. As he ate his dinner, he listened to classical music, which she enjoyed - her favourite composer was Johann Sebastian Bach. But nothing seemed to comfort Mr Lee in the days after Madam Kwa Geok Choo, his wife of 63 years, his best friend and confidante, died on Oct 2, 2010.
He slept erratically. A memory would bring tears to his eyes. When her ashes arrived at Oxley Road in a grey marble urn three days after the funeral, he wept. It took three months before he began returning to normal. "Slowly, he accepted that Mrs Lee was gone," said his youngest and only surviving brother, Dr Lee Suan Yew. It was nine months before his health stabilised, said his only daughter Wei Ling.
...
He would usually get home at around 9pm and he would spend a few moments looking at his wife's urn in the living room. He kept to his new routine in the disciplined way with which he had led his life. But he told his friend Dr Schmidt, who visited in May 2012, that his wife's death had left a deep hole in his life and nothing could fill it.
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Throughout, Mr Lee kept up his Mandarin lessons, and continued his exercises and outings. Titanium, as his daughter once described him in an article, is light but strong. It can bend a little, but it will not snap unless it is under overwhelming force, she wrote. On Feb 5, he was admitted to the Singapore General Hospital, this time with severe pneumonia. News in mid-March that he was critically ill saw an outpouring of good wishes across the island he loved and called home."
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A story shared by a Singaporean who bumped into them at a museum: "He requested to push his wife. And even in his weakness and old age at that point in time, I saw him struggle to push his wife in her wheelchair. They stopped at almost every painting (I followed them behind, keeping my distance and pretending to look at those paintings too). And at every painting, he would bend down and asked her gently for her thoughts. They would share a quiet moment of discussion, and sometimes laughed together. It felt like no one else was around, and they felt very much still in love."
Sources: LKY's eulogy speech, Cassandra Chew (The Straits Times), and the 'Thank You Mr Lee Kuan Yew' FB page.
The importance of being Kwa Geok Choo
“He also mentioned that she was quite a feisty person. We all painted her to be a very gentle and caring (person). But there was this other side of her where, when she really wanted something or when she wanted to work hard for something, she was not afraid. And she was quite a rebel, a trailblazer. It must take a certain level of courage and rebelliousness to be able to do that kind of thing."
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